My very dear friend (who earned his first honorable mention in this blog not long ago) told me that he was a bit perplexed about an argument he had with someone who accused him of being "anti-marriage". I have never thought this about him myself , but I would be lying if I said that I have never been curious as to why someone hasn't snatched him up yet. He is, for all intents and purposes, quite a catch ( Hold your head still, Hootie..I don't want it to blow..)
So, in the midst of this debate he challenged his dueling partner to list five advantages to living a married life and she apparently faltered, not able to provide one. I was shocked that she didn't at least mention feeling loved, although an obtuse answer by my standards, it does fit the question. So, I took this challenge upon myself, promising to mull it over and give him the best answer possible, while proving that while there are advantages to living free and independant, there is much to be said about being wed. ( I promise, no more rhymes..)
1. Pooling your resources. I'm not just referring to money and material things here. When you share your life with someone , you not only have your own intelligence, drive , sense of humor, physical strength,and navigational skills but you also have unlimited access to theirs, making it twice as likely that you will be able to get the job done..Whatever it may be.
2.In sickness and in Health. You will never find a regular friend willing to listen to you cough,sneeze, puke, or fart while lying beside you in bed. You can tell , say and do anything in front of your spouse and they love you anyway. They will inspect the odd rash or bump or your gigantic swollen lip and tell you that you will, in fact, live and everything will be alright.
3. Misery loves Company. Being married means that you will never have to suffer the loss of a loved one, a job, or your pride alone. They will hold your hand and suffer with you even if it only affects them indirectly. They hurt because you hurt.
4. An extra set of eyes, ears, hands and feet.When you're single and you don't have time to go to the bank, it just doesn't get done. When you're married, every task no matter how small or mundane is the responsibility of both parties. You can get twice as much done, half as fast when you work as a team. I really couldn't imagine taking care of everything all of the time by myself without being able to pick up the phone and say " I can't get to it, will you...?" And know that he will because it's for a common goal.
and finally ,
5. Marriage is like a beautiful garden that only needs to be tended. Being single is like breaking ground over and over and over...
The game of dating is a tiresome one. Unless you are content on spending your life in solitude, you play this game occasionally and everytime you have to start over. Lay the ground work, make an impression, make sure you look ok , sound ok , and don't make a fool of yourself to keep the person interested. When you're married, they don't have to be interested ALL of the time, you know that they will be again when it's important. I apologize for garden metaphor but it's entirely fitting to prove my point. This evening The Big Lugnut and I started one in our back yard. We spent the better part of the day planning and buying and digging and laughing. Full of ideas about something so simple but it seemed monumentally important as we taught the children about nature and roots and worms and all things that grow. We shared a piece of our pasts with eachother and and got insanely dirty. But as I sat in the dirt with my hands covered, my face smeared and my hair sweaty , I neer once worried that he would think less of me. ( So, there's number 6...If you are inclined to indulge..)
So, How'd I do?
