My very dear friend (who earned his first honorable mention in this blog not long ago) told me that he was a bit perplexed about an argument he had with someone who accused him of being "anti-marriage". I have never thought this about him myself , but I would be lying if I said that I have never been curious as to why someone hasn't snatched him up yet. He is, for all intents and purposes, quite a catch ( Hold your head still, Hootie..I don't want it to blow..)
So, in the midst of this debate he challenged his dueling partner to list five advantages to living a married life and she apparently faltered, not able to provide one. I was shocked that she didn't at least mention feeling loved, although an obtuse answer by my standards, it does fit the question. So, I took this challenge upon myself, promising to mull it over and give him the best answer possible, while proving that while there are advantages to living free and independant, there is much to be said about being wed. ( I promise, no more rhymes..)
1. Pooling your resources. I'm not just referring to money and material things here. When you share your life with someone , you not only have your own intelligence, drive , sense of humor, physical strength,and navigational skills but you also have unlimited access to theirs, making it twice as likely that you will be able to get the job done..Whatever it may be.
2.In sickness and in Health. You will never find a regular friend willing to listen to you cough,sneeze, puke, or fart while lying beside you in bed. You can tell , say and do anything in front of your spouse and they love you anyway. They will inspect the odd rash or bump or your gigantic swollen lip and tell you that you will, in fact, live and everything will be alright.
3. Misery loves Company. Being married means that you will never have to suffer the loss of a loved one, a job, or your pride alone. They will hold your hand and suffer with you even if it only affects them indirectly. They hurt because you hurt.
4. An extra set of eyes, ears, hands and feet.When you're single and you don't have time to go to the bank, it just doesn't get done. When you're married, every task no matter how small or mundane is the responsibility of both parties. You can get twice as much done, half as fast when you work as a team. I really couldn't imagine taking care of everything all of the time by myself without being able to pick up the phone and say " I can't get to it, will you...?" And know that he will because it's for a common goal.
and finally ,
5. Marriage is like a beautiful garden that only needs to be tended. Being single is like breaking ground over and over and over...
The game of dating is a tiresome one. Unless you are content on spending your life in solitude, you play this game occasionally and everytime you have to start over. Lay the ground work, make an impression, make sure you look ok , sound ok , and don't make a fool of yourself to keep the person interested. When you're married, they don't have to be interested ALL of the time, you know that they will be again when it's important. I apologize for garden metaphor but it's entirely fitting to prove my point. This evening The Big Lugnut and I started one in our back yard. We spent the better part of the day planning and buying and digging and laughing. Full of ideas about something so simple but it seemed monumentally important as we taught the children about nature and roots and worms and all things that grow. We shared a piece of our pasts with eachother and and got insanely dirty. But as I sat in the dirt with my hands covered, my face smeared and my hair sweaty , I neer once worried that he would think less of me. ( So, there's number 6...If you are inclined to indulge..)
So, How'd I do?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Girl Power Struggle
For years I considered myself a Feminist.
I do truly believe that women are capable of holding a multitude of jobs, being career- minded while raising a family and all that other jazz. I would not be able to call myself a good mother ( which,I don't on most days because self-deprecation is my forte ) if I did not encourage all four of my daughters to be strong and diligent and go after what they want. I am a stronger woman than I wanna be on most days, if only for the hope that I will be an example for them to follow. However, what I am about to say will completely contradict my Feminist status, so I gnawed on this blog idea for a whole night before I decided to commit it to posting.
However, it needs to be said. I have a multitude of male counterparts in this crazy life of mine. Each of them has brought something to my days that I feel deserves mentioning. It truly is a tightly knit little system they have, even if they rarely speak to each other. No.. I do not have a male harem of do-boys ready to fulfill my every whim.. ( Although, that ain't a bad idea..I'll have to run it by the Big Lugnut later..)
Let me explain...
I am fortunate enough to have been raised with a father in my home. That is not to say that it made my life perfect, in fact,on many days, it probably made it harder. Especially when I had to tell him that I was going to be a teenage mother.
But..He has given me a mountain of valuable lessons and tough love over the years and I am happy to say that I am finally old enough ( with a teenager of my own, yikes!) to get what he's saying and take it for what it is. When you're young you don't appreciate the value of what those who've gone before you have to say. You think that they are being mean or judgemental or belittling your intelligence, I know...because I accused him of all of these things.Now that I am comfortably settling into my thirties, he has forgiven me for being such a punk (and laughing as my crow is being served up by a very dramatic 14 year old) and I have forgiven him for being stern and harsh and so very uncool.
I have a brother who is eleven years younger than me that turned out to be exactly what every one thought. A homosexual. I owe him a debt of gratitude for teaching me about bravery and self discovery. He has never been ashamed or afraid of who he is. I also owe him thanks for keeping this stern,harsh and very uncool mom up-to-date on the who's and the what's of today's world. I also have an excellent, free hairdresser and someone who is not opposed to stopping my fat ass from walking out in that outfit.( because a female friend will not extend you this courtesy, they would rather bless your heart while they whisper about how terrible you look.)
And as for the men who voluntarily spend their time talking to me.. There is a slew of friends of te Y chromosome persuasion that I have acquired and kept for good reason. They are my ground wires for when this world and the females in it make me crazy. I grow so weary of hearing excuses for why the ladies I hold near and dear won't get off their duffs and DO something about their situations. ( Fix it, forget it, make do with it or own it, damnit!)
Whenever I have exhausted my common sense advice, or my listening ear for the tirades and "poor me" monologues.. I text or IM or message one of my boy-buds ( because I know how much they hate to actually talk on the phone.) and they listen and interject only when necessary and remind me that I am "just too cool for school" and what I really need is a beer and they would like nothing more than to have one with me and talk about nothing.
They do not ogle my boobs or get into my business or pass judgement on my husband for being a big fat dummy sometimes. Actually, they usually defend him and tell me to stop being a girl over whatever I'm stressing about.So , I do and thank them for the reality check. After all, I don't want to be that much of a girl..The only draw back to this is thaat sometimes I think they actually forget that I'm a girl so I get to hear all sorts of things that I probably shouldn't. ( These lady ears are delicate,after all..)
To give you an example for those that are confused.. I will quote two conversations that I have been a part of lately.
Number 1 : Me and "The Wounded Bird"
Her-"What do you think I should do about this situation?"
Me - "Tell him how you feel."
Her - "I don't want to argue"
Me- "OK. So don't tell him."
Her - "But I can't live like this anymore"
Me- "So, leave"
Her - "I can't make it on my own"
Me- "Sounds to me like you aren't making it now."
Her- "You just don't know him like I do."
Me - "Sure I do, you tell me everything that goes on , every day."
Her- "He's really so gentle and sweet."
Me- "Yeah, I like a good gentle knock upside my head once in awhile."
Her - "You're such a smart ass."
Me - "Thanks"
She wails into the phone telling me that it was serious and why don't I help her and hangs up.
*SIGH*
Number 2 : Me and "Hootie SupaFly"
Me- " We kicked ass in beer pong last night"
Him- "Oh yeah, did the LugNut carry you? cuz I know you can't shoot."
Me - " Is this a racist or sexist presumption?"
Him- " A little of both. I'm kidding, I'm not a racist."
Me- "But you are sexist? Of course you are .. You have a penis."
Him -"But I'm not racist..doesn't that count? and I do have a penis.Guilty as charged."
Me- "I'm glad to hear it."
Him- "So...if I had a vagina, you wouldn't be my friend?"
Me- "Sadly, that is probably true. Vaginas=Drama. I am also not racist."
Him- "MLK had a dream that one day this would be possible"
and the conversation ceased with laughter.
See? Sometimes the subject matter can be a glorious mixture of light and heavy.
And last, but far from the least. My main man.. My LugNut.
He never cares that I didn't shave my legs today.
He thinks I look sexy washing the dishes.
He laughs at all of my stupid jokes.
He lets me yell at him when it's not his fault.
He allows me to have male friends without jealousy.
He never tells me that I can't do something that I want because I am a girl.
BUT..
He fixes the sink when its broken.
He rescues me on the side of the road , even when he's mad at me.
He never laughs at me (for long) when I have lost my way because I have no sense of direction.
He checks to see what the noise in the middle of the night is.
He stands between me and the traffic.
He holds my hand when we walk through a crowd.
He is the yin and the yang for me and keeps this yo-yo from straying too far from her path.
So ladies... The point is you can poo-poo all over men if you want. I love being a girl and everything that comes with it and I love the men who make my world go around.
There ain't nothing wrong with being equally different.
I do truly believe that women are capable of holding a multitude of jobs, being career- minded while raising a family and all that other jazz. I would not be able to call myself a good mother ( which,I don't on most days because self-deprecation is my forte ) if I did not encourage all four of my daughters to be strong and diligent and go after what they want. I am a stronger woman than I wanna be on most days, if only for the hope that I will be an example for them to follow. However, what I am about to say will completely contradict my Feminist status, so I gnawed on this blog idea for a whole night before I decided to commit it to posting.
However, it needs to be said. I have a multitude of male counterparts in this crazy life of mine. Each of them has brought something to my days that I feel deserves mentioning. It truly is a tightly knit little system they have, even if they rarely speak to each other. No.. I do not have a male harem of do-boys ready to fulfill my every whim.. ( Although, that ain't a bad idea..I'll have to run it by the Big Lugnut later..)
Let me explain...
I am fortunate enough to have been raised with a father in my home. That is not to say that it made my life perfect, in fact,on many days, it probably made it harder. Especially when I had to tell him that I was going to be a teenage mother.
But..He has given me a mountain of valuable lessons and tough love over the years and I am happy to say that I am finally old enough ( with a teenager of my own, yikes!) to get what he's saying and take it for what it is. When you're young you don't appreciate the value of what those who've gone before you have to say. You think that they are being mean or judgemental or belittling your intelligence, I know...because I accused him of all of these things.Now that I am comfortably settling into my thirties, he has forgiven me for being such a punk (and laughing as my crow is being served up by a very dramatic 14 year old) and I have forgiven him for being stern and harsh and so very uncool.
I have a brother who is eleven years younger than me that turned out to be exactly what every one thought. A homosexual. I owe him a debt of gratitude for teaching me about bravery and self discovery. He has never been ashamed or afraid of who he is. I also owe him thanks for keeping this stern,harsh and very uncool mom up-to-date on the who's and the what's of today's world. I also have an excellent, free hairdresser and someone who is not opposed to stopping my fat ass from walking out in that outfit.( because a female friend will not extend you this courtesy, they would rather bless your heart while they whisper about how terrible you look.)
And as for the men who voluntarily spend their time talking to me.. There is a slew of friends of te Y chromosome persuasion that I have acquired and kept for good reason. They are my ground wires for when this world and the females in it make me crazy. I grow so weary of hearing excuses for why the ladies I hold near and dear won't get off their duffs and DO something about their situations. ( Fix it, forget it, make do with it or own it, damnit!)
Whenever I have exhausted my common sense advice, or my listening ear for the tirades and "poor me" monologues.. I text or IM or message one of my boy-buds ( because I know how much they hate to actually talk on the phone.) and they listen and interject only when necessary and remind me that I am "just too cool for school" and what I really need is a beer and they would like nothing more than to have one with me and talk about nothing.
They do not ogle my boobs or get into my business or pass judgement on my husband for being a big fat dummy sometimes. Actually, they usually defend him and tell me to stop being a girl over whatever I'm stressing about.So , I do and thank them for the reality check. After all, I don't want to be that much of a girl..The only draw back to this is thaat sometimes I think they actually forget that I'm a girl so I get to hear all sorts of things that I probably shouldn't. ( These lady ears are delicate,after all..)
To give you an example for those that are confused.. I will quote two conversations that I have been a part of lately.
Number 1 : Me and "The Wounded Bird"
Her-"What do you think I should do about this situation?"
Me - "Tell him how you feel."
Her - "I don't want to argue"
Me- "OK. So don't tell him."
Her - "But I can't live like this anymore"
Me- "So, leave"
Her - "I can't make it on my own"
Me- "Sounds to me like you aren't making it now."
Her- "You just don't know him like I do."
Me - "Sure I do, you tell me everything that goes on , every day."
Her- "He's really so gentle and sweet."
Me- "Yeah, I like a good gentle knock upside my head once in awhile."
Her - "You're such a smart ass."
Me - "Thanks"
She wails into the phone telling me that it was serious and why don't I help her and hangs up.
*SIGH*
Number 2 : Me and "Hootie SupaFly"
Me- " We kicked ass in beer pong last night"
Him- "Oh yeah, did the LugNut carry you? cuz I know you can't shoot."
Me - " Is this a racist or sexist presumption?"
Him- " A little of both. I'm kidding, I'm not a racist."
Me- "But you are sexist? Of course you are .. You have a penis."
Him -"But I'm not racist..doesn't that count? and I do have a penis.Guilty as charged."
Me- "I'm glad to hear it."
Him- "So...if I had a vagina, you wouldn't be my friend?"
Me- "Sadly, that is probably true. Vaginas=Drama. I am also not racist."
Him- "MLK had a dream that one day this would be possible"
and the conversation ceased with laughter.
See? Sometimes the subject matter can be a glorious mixture of light and heavy.
And last, but far from the least. My main man.. My LugNut.
He never cares that I didn't shave my legs today.
He thinks I look sexy washing the dishes.
He laughs at all of my stupid jokes.
He lets me yell at him when it's not his fault.
He allows me to have male friends without jealousy.
He never tells me that I can't do something that I want because I am a girl.
BUT..
He fixes the sink when its broken.
He rescues me on the side of the road , even when he's mad at me.
He never laughs at me (for long) when I have lost my way because I have no sense of direction.
He checks to see what the noise in the middle of the night is.
He stands between me and the traffic.
He holds my hand when we walk through a crowd.
He is the yin and the yang for me and keeps this yo-yo from straying too far from her path.
So ladies... The point is you can poo-poo all over men if you want. I love being a girl and everything that comes with it and I love the men who make my world go around.
There ain't nothing wrong with being equally different.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
notes to myself
Because talking to myself only entices strange looks and head shaking but I still feel sometimes like no one's listening so I have to get it out somehow.
1. Hoarding candy that I am not supposed to be eating just makes a mess. I stuff it in my purse , or drawer , or jacket pocket and forget about it. The forgetting is good , it can't make me fat unless I eat it but the sticky,brown after effects on my purse and nightstand drawer contents or my hands after I've shoved 'em in my pockets real good just serves to irritate me further because it always seems to be these exact moments that are the most stressful and filled with sugary thoughts.
2. Social networking is making it harder and harder not to have to look at people that make me want to vomit.This cruel game of Six Degrees of Separation that is the "friends list" is maddening.(so, side note to myself..get new friends.)
3. Try to be understanding and realize that perhaps the children are having an allergic reaction to a clean environment so they are only trying to defend their health by trashing the entire joint before I sit down good.
4. I AM old enough for people to say things like " When you were my age did you.." and " Wow..They were old , like older than you..." But it does not mean that I can't paint my toes in sparkly polish. I just have to accept the fact that they look like fat little disco balls.*SIGH*
5.Bill Collectors are evil spawns of the seventh layer of Hell. There is a reason that you NEVER see an ad for a company seeking bill collecting agents. They are bred from pods in the Matrix and trained thoroughly in their wiley ways. Like, sending a bill saying that you owe money and to go online and pay the money but when you do, they say that the money will be directly drafted , but it hasn't been so you don't know if you should pay it anyway, but you don't want to pay twice..Sooooo..if I don't and they don't , then you'll have no insurance, But If I do and They do , then I'll have paid twice for no-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
6.There are all sorts of relationship dynamics and different strokes rule the World, but it is perfectly okay for me to fantasize about castrating my husband if he pulled some of the pranks that the spouse's of my friends and family do.
And finally ( for today anyway..)
7. I shouldn't be offended that everyone I know thinks of me first when they have a question about anything unorthodox,risque, or drug or alcohol related. This is not necessarily a reflection on my lifestyle but on my body of knowledge..Right guys?
My sister( who's been granted her first appearance in this blog so she needs a name. let's call her Aunt Fannie, cuz that's what the kid's call her)rented a movie that boggled her brain so ( and fit into all of the affore-mentioned categories ) So, she calls me begging me to watch and then translate the art that is the independent film and educate her on all that is underground and weird. After three hours of feeling like my brain had been raped she looks at me with wide eyes and says ..."Well?"
I'm still working on that one. I can't decide if it's because I am losing my zest being a stay at home mom or if it was just garbage. So, for my sake, we're gonna go with the second one.
1. Hoarding candy that I am not supposed to be eating just makes a mess. I stuff it in my purse , or drawer , or jacket pocket and forget about it. The forgetting is good , it can't make me fat unless I eat it but the sticky,brown after effects on my purse and nightstand drawer contents or my hands after I've shoved 'em in my pockets real good just serves to irritate me further because it always seems to be these exact moments that are the most stressful and filled with sugary thoughts.
2. Social networking is making it harder and harder not to have to look at people that make me want to vomit.This cruel game of Six Degrees of Separation that is the "friends list" is maddening.(so, side note to myself..get new friends.)
3. Try to be understanding and realize that perhaps the children are having an allergic reaction to a clean environment so they are only trying to defend their health by trashing the entire joint before I sit down good.
4. I AM old enough for people to say things like " When you were my age did you.." and " Wow..They were old , like older than you..." But it does not mean that I can't paint my toes in sparkly polish. I just have to accept the fact that they look like fat little disco balls.*SIGH*
5.Bill Collectors are evil spawns of the seventh layer of Hell. There is a reason that you NEVER see an ad for a company seeking bill collecting agents. They are bred from pods in the Matrix and trained thoroughly in their wiley ways. Like, sending a bill saying that you owe money and to go online and pay the money but when you do, they say that the money will be directly drafted , but it hasn't been so you don't know if you should pay it anyway, but you don't want to pay twice..Sooooo..if I don't and they don't , then you'll have no insurance, But If I do and They do , then I'll have paid twice for no-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
6.There are all sorts of relationship dynamics and different strokes rule the World, but it is perfectly okay for me to fantasize about castrating my husband if he pulled some of the pranks that the spouse's of my friends and family do.
And finally ( for today anyway..)
7. I shouldn't be offended that everyone I know thinks of me first when they have a question about anything unorthodox,risque, or drug or alcohol related. This is not necessarily a reflection on my lifestyle but on my body of knowledge..Right guys?
My sister( who's been granted her first appearance in this blog so she needs a name. let's call her Aunt Fannie, cuz that's what the kid's call her)rented a movie that boggled her brain so ( and fit into all of the affore-mentioned categories ) So, she calls me begging me to watch and then translate the art that is the independent film and educate her on all that is underground and weird. After three hours of feeling like my brain had been raped she looks at me with wide eyes and says ..."Well?"
I'm still working on that one. I can't decide if it's because I am losing my zest being a stay at home mom or if it was just garbage. So, for my sake, we're gonna go with the second one.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A List
I cannot seem to articulate as well as I would like on how I feel at the moment , so I will just list these separate (but perhaps, not so random) thoughts. Draw from it what you can pull from the mess.
Things that I think are stupid, irritating or confusing at the present moment
- The newest Disney princess fairy tale has a black heroine named Tiana , whose name was apparently originally Maddie , which some idiot thought sounded too much like Mammy and changed it to "a less stereotypical" name. TIANA. Have you ever met a white girl named Tiana?
I know this one comes a little late but I had forgotten about it until I saw a commercial for the movie or something attached to it this morning.
- That the second Ex- Mrs.-Redneck sent me a friend request on Myspace today. Why on earth would she think that I would want to be her friend in any capacity? Has the internet age rid of us of all social decorum? I've blogged about this a long time ago in which I was complaining about the lack of discretion in choosing blog topics, allowing for all sorts of inappropriate things to be aired out in the open. This in particular bugs me because it seems as though people think that just because you know of someone, you should be their "friend" on whatever social networking site you happen to air your dirty laundry on. Never mind the fact that you hate the person. Or that you once out of spite tried to ruin this person's life by slandering them and attacking their mothering skills. Hear me good , you spiteful little hag of a girl. I haven't forgiven or forgotten. Be wary of your enemies , though quiet and still they seem.
For those readers that are completely lost, before I was Mrs. Lugnut , I was the original Mrs. Redneck , a time and a person in my life that deserves little to no mention so we'll move on..
- The Kindle. Ok , guys.. I'm sorry but I hate this idea. As cool as it may seem to some to carry around a tiny, virtual,endless book , it just doesn't jive with me. I like technology fine. I carry a smartphone, I blog , I Vaguebook and Tweet and have to remind myself not to say LOL out loud. I pay extra to see 3D movies and High Definition television but there is something about the smell of a book. The feel of it , the fun of perusing through a bookstore and smelling and feeling and learning..Call me old-fashioned but this is something that I hope that I'm not forced to give up on.
- "Drama" oh , how I hate this term. Drama is life dolls, without it, you would be very,very bored. People who claim to hate drama are the ones that feed off of it, stir it up, surround themselves with it and then blame it on their geographical placement. If you think moving out of Podunk will stop people from talking shit about you , you are mistaken. Stop doing stupid shit and you might lessen it , but it will never truly go away.
Ok , let's switch gears..
Things that are very small but mean very much to me right at this moment
- I have very funny children that make faces , point out irony , change words to songs to suit their moods (and keep them from cussing) try to trick eachother into using their brains and play with cardboard boxes, not because they don't have toys , but because the box can be ANYTHING. I also love seeing them enjoy the simple pleasures in life like feeling the wind on their faces and the mud between their toes and that cereal and cartoons are the best way to spend a Saturday morning. Seeing this , I know that I must've done at least something right , some where.
- I have a few friends in my life that still make me feel like I can be redeemed , no matter how shitty I may have been to them, and to myself.
- I was awakened this morning by a text that says " I think you are the most wonderful lady in the world" by a man who makes me smile more than anyone. ( I love that Big Lugnut.)
AND finally
- I am starting to like myself a little bit better , slowly but surely...
Things that I think are stupid, irritating or confusing at the present moment
- The newest Disney princess fairy tale has a black heroine named Tiana , whose name was apparently originally Maddie , which some idiot thought sounded too much like Mammy and changed it to "a less stereotypical" name. TIANA. Have you ever met a white girl named Tiana?
I know this one comes a little late but I had forgotten about it until I saw a commercial for the movie or something attached to it this morning.
- That the second Ex- Mrs.-Redneck sent me a friend request on Myspace today. Why on earth would she think that I would want to be her friend in any capacity? Has the internet age rid of us of all social decorum? I've blogged about this a long time ago in which I was complaining about the lack of discretion in choosing blog topics, allowing for all sorts of inappropriate things to be aired out in the open. This in particular bugs me because it seems as though people think that just because you know of someone, you should be their "friend" on whatever social networking site you happen to air your dirty laundry on. Never mind the fact that you hate the person. Or that you once out of spite tried to ruin this person's life by slandering them and attacking their mothering skills. Hear me good , you spiteful little hag of a girl. I haven't forgiven or forgotten. Be wary of your enemies , though quiet and still they seem.
For those readers that are completely lost, before I was Mrs. Lugnut , I was the original Mrs. Redneck , a time and a person in my life that deserves little to no mention so we'll move on..
- The Kindle. Ok , guys.. I'm sorry but I hate this idea. As cool as it may seem to some to carry around a tiny, virtual,endless book , it just doesn't jive with me. I like technology fine. I carry a smartphone, I blog , I Vaguebook and Tweet and have to remind myself not to say LOL out loud. I pay extra to see 3D movies and High Definition television but there is something about the smell of a book. The feel of it , the fun of perusing through a bookstore and smelling and feeling and learning..Call me old-fashioned but this is something that I hope that I'm not forced to give up on.
- "Drama" oh , how I hate this term. Drama is life dolls, without it, you would be very,very bored. People who claim to hate drama are the ones that feed off of it, stir it up, surround themselves with it and then blame it on their geographical placement. If you think moving out of Podunk will stop people from talking shit about you , you are mistaken. Stop doing stupid shit and you might lessen it , but it will never truly go away.
Ok , let's switch gears..
Things that are very small but mean very much to me right at this moment
- I have very funny children that make faces , point out irony , change words to songs to suit their moods (and keep them from cussing) try to trick eachother into using their brains and play with cardboard boxes, not because they don't have toys , but because the box can be ANYTHING. I also love seeing them enjoy the simple pleasures in life like feeling the wind on their faces and the mud between their toes and that cereal and cartoons are the best way to spend a Saturday morning. Seeing this , I know that I must've done at least something right , some where.
- I have a few friends in my life that still make me feel like I can be redeemed , no matter how shitty I may have been to them, and to myself.
- I was awakened this morning by a text that says " I think you are the most wonderful lady in the world" by a man who makes me smile more than anyone. ( I love that Big Lugnut.)
AND finally
- I am starting to like myself a little bit better , slowly but surely...
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