Girl Power Struggle

For years I considered myself a Feminist.

I do truly believe that women are capable of holding a multitude of jobs, being career- minded while raising a family and all that other jazz. I would not be able to call myself a good mother ( which,I don't on most days because self-deprecation is my forte ) if I did not encourage all four of my daughters to be strong and diligent and go after what they want. I am a stronger woman than I wanna be on most days, if only for the hope that I will be an example for them to follow. However, what I am about to say will completely contradict my Feminist status, so I gnawed on this blog idea for a whole night before I decided to commit it to posting.
However, it needs to be said. I have a multitude of male counterparts in this crazy life of mine. Each of them has brought something to my days that I feel deserves mentioning. It truly is a tightly knit little system they have, even if they rarely speak to each other. No.. I do not have a male harem of do-boys ready to fulfill my every whim.. ( Although, that ain't a bad idea..I'll have to run it by the Big Lugnut later..)
Let me explain...
I am fortunate enough to have been raised with a father in my home. That is not to say that it made my life perfect, in fact,on many days, it probably made it harder. Especially when I had to tell him that I was going to be a teenage mother.
But..He has given me a mountain of valuable lessons and tough love over the years and I am happy to say that I am finally old enough ( with a teenager of my own, yikes!) to get what he's saying and take it for what it is. When you're young you don't appreciate the value of what those who've gone before you have to say. You think that they are being mean or judgemental or belittling your intelligence, I know...because I accused him of all of these things.Now that I am comfortably settling into my thirties, he has forgiven me for being such a punk (and laughing as my crow is being served up by a very dramatic 14 year old) and I have forgiven him for being stern and harsh and so very uncool.
I have a brother who is eleven years younger than me that turned out to be exactly what every one thought. A homosexual. I owe him a debt of gratitude for teaching me about bravery and self discovery. He has never been ashamed or afraid of who he is. I also owe him thanks for keeping this stern,harsh and very uncool mom up-to-date on the who's and the what's of today's world. I also have an excellent, free hairdresser and someone who is not opposed to stopping my fat ass from walking out in that outfit.( because a female friend will not extend you this courtesy, they would rather bless your heart while they whisper about how terrible you look.)

And as for the men who voluntarily spend their time talking to me.. There is a slew of friends of te Y chromosome persuasion that I have acquired and kept for good reason. They are my ground wires for when this world and the females in it make me crazy. I grow so weary of hearing excuses for why the ladies I hold near and dear won't get off their duffs and DO something about their situations. ( Fix it, forget it, make do with it or own it, damnit!)
Whenever I have exhausted my common sense advice, or my listening ear for the tirades and "poor me" monologues.. I text or IM or message one of my boy-buds ( because I know how much they hate to actually talk on the phone.) and they listen and interject only when necessary and remind me that I am "just too cool for school" and what I really need is a beer and they would like nothing more than to have one with me and talk about nothing.
They do not ogle my boobs or get into my business or pass judgement on my husband for being a big fat dummy sometimes. Actually, they usually defend him and tell me to stop being a girl over whatever I'm stressing about.So , I do and thank them for the reality check. After all, I don't want to be that much of a girl..The only draw back to this is thaat sometimes I think they actually forget that I'm a girl so I get to hear all sorts of things that I probably shouldn't. ( These lady ears are delicate,after all..)
To give you an example for those that are confused.. I will quote two conversations that I have been a part of lately.

Number 1 : Me and "The Wounded Bird"

Her-"What do you think I should do about this situation?"
Me - "Tell him how you feel."
Her - "I don't want to argue"
Me- "OK. So don't tell him."
Her - "But I can't live like this anymore"
Me- "So, leave"
Her - "I can't make it on my own"
Me- "Sounds to me like you aren't making it now."
Her- "You just don't know him like I do."
Me - "Sure I do, you tell me everything that goes on , every day."
Her- "He's really so gentle and sweet."
Me- "Yeah, I like a good gentle knock upside my head once in awhile."
Her - "You're such a smart ass."
Me - "Thanks"
She wails into the phone telling me that it was serious and why don't I help her and hangs up.
*SIGH*

Number 2 : Me and "Hootie SupaFly"

Me- " We kicked ass in beer pong last night"
Him- "Oh yeah, did the LugNut carry you? cuz I know you can't shoot."
Me - " Is this a racist or sexist presumption?"
Him- " A little of both. I'm kidding, I'm not a racist."
Me- "But you are sexist? Of course you are .. You have a penis."
Him -"But I'm not racist..doesn't that count? and I do have a penis.Guilty as charged."
Me- "I'm glad to hear it."
Him- "So...if I had a vagina, you wouldn't be my friend?"
Me- "Sadly, that is probably true. Vaginas=Drama. I am also not racist."
Him- "MLK had a dream that one day this would be possible"

and the conversation ceased with laughter.

See? Sometimes the subject matter can be a glorious mixture of light and heavy.

And last, but far from the least. My main man.. My LugNut.
He never cares that I didn't shave my legs today.
He thinks I look sexy washing the dishes.
He laughs at all of my stupid jokes.
He lets me yell at him when it's not his fault.
He allows me to have male friends without jealousy.
He never tells me that I can't do something that I want because I am a girl.
BUT..
He fixes the sink when its broken.
He rescues me on the side of the road , even when he's mad at me.
He never laughs at me (for long) when I have lost my way because I have no sense of direction.
He checks to see what the noise in the middle of the night is.
He stands between me and the traffic.
He holds my hand when we walk through a crowd.

He is the yin and the yang for me and keeps this yo-yo from straying too far from her path.
So ladies... The point is you can poo-poo all over men if you want. I love being a girl and everything that comes with it and I love the men who make my world go around.

There ain't nothing wrong with being equally different.